Life is full of ups and downs.
When shit hits the fan, when things go wrong, don’t go as planned, or when something happens to throw us off balance...we can begin to doubt ourselves and let's face it, loves:
IT CAN BE TOUGH TO DEAL WITH!
After all, we all want things to go well.
We want to succeed.
We want to achieve.
When life throw challenges at us when we least expect it, we have to remember that no matter how much we prepare: we can't control everything. Nor should we try.
It’s not what happens TO us, but what we DO with what happens to us - that makes all the difference. We can't control the ocean, but we can learn to surf the waves.
Let's go deeper into some strategies that we can start using right away, to come out on top.
1. Focus on Your Strengths
Every single one of us is a mixture of strengths and weaknesses - that is a fact.
What most of us don't realize is that it's human nature to put more focus on our weaknesses instead of our strengths. It benefits us greatly to acknowledge that fact.
Our next step is to then consciously choose to focus on what we do well.
A lot of people approach strength and weaknesses by hyper-focusing on their weaknesses. During moments of motivation, some very focused individuals begin incrementally developing skills that can help transform weakness in strengths.
I propose a different, more effective approach that begins with a commitment to identifying and talking about our strengths.
Let's define what we mean when we say strength. For the purposes of this conversation, we're going to define a strength as something that you do consistently well.
It’s something you thrive at doing and are able to do well. It might feel like you’re hard-wired to do it well or you might get a feeling of satisfaction from doing it.
Understand that you could have strengths in areas that you might not have discovered, acknowledged, or explored yet. It could be tackling and solving complex problems, empathizing with people, having a lively imagination or being able to make the perfect omelet.
It's important that we release our predetermined notions of a strength being something that has to bring us money or fame. A strength may bring neither, but if it feels joyful or it energizes or excites you to think about - then it is certainly a strength.
Focusing on what you do well, rather than what you are not so good at, supports your psychological, mental and emotional well-being in several ways. Energetically you are building up momentum, giving energy to the areas of your life and identity that work well for you. This builds you self-confidence and enhances your self-image, in a healthy way.
The positive emotions of feeling capable, and "in the flow" combined with a mental state of productivity and focus, helps you reinforce your ability to follow through with tasks, both big-and small.
Make it a point to look at what you’re good at. Get your journal out and write a list of everything you do well, be as descriptive as possible.
Make it your job to focus on and play to your strengths.
Delegate the tasks that are not an effective use of your time. Delegating tasks can sometimes look like asking for help - which can trigger some big emotions!
We might run into belief systems that tells us "If we want something done right, we have to do it ourselves." or any other number of programmed limiting thoughts that we adopted from our childhood, from parents or teachers. Listen to the inner critic that might argue with you - and stay curious.
Instead of arguing with our inner critic, we treat the inner critic inside of ourselves with love and understanding - know they are trying to protect us.
We can then consciously choose to structure thought patterns that support the best version of ourselves in the present. We re-frame negative thoughts about ourselves to thoughts that are empathetic and support growth in gentle, loving way.
"I am doing my best. I make choices in alignment with my goals. I grow in necessary ways. I align with the right people to help me on my path."
2. Set Things Up Ahead Of Time
Sure, there will be times when you can just head into something, do brilliantly at it and get the result you were hoping for (normally if you are playing to your strengths).
Sometimes though, it feels more like you're blundering forwards, winging it and not get the result you wanted.
No matter what challenges or opportunities you’re facing, you will stand a much better chance of getting a great result if you set things up for success ahead of time.
Begin by identifying EXACTLY what you want to happen.
What solution, outcome or result would be great?
Get REALLY really clear on the outcome you want out of the situation you are headed into.
Get really really clear about how it would feel to get the outcome you’re looking for.
The feeling place, the emotion of how it FEELS like to have your desired outcome is the starting point you want to get deep into. It sounds a little backwards at first. You might be saying, "I'll feel like I achieved my desired outcome once I've done what I set out to do!"
The key here is setting yourself up for success mentally, emotionally and energetically.
Abraham Hicks calls this "segment intending"
The core idea behind segment intending, as Abraham says:
Segment intending is just about being aware of yourself in your surroundings and what’s coming next. It’s a redefining by you of the intentions that you hold in this second.
Once you become aware of this, you can then start to take actions that will help you to realign, or pre-pave your energy for the each portion of your day.
The process involves taking the time to set a clear intention for what you want to experience. Your intention is a powerful creative force, and when you couple that intention with an open vibration of allowing, you amplify the power of whatever action you are taking in that moment
Then start listen to the instinctive urges that pull you to set things up so that your desired outcome happen. Quiet your mind (inner chatter) so that your wise inner being can guide you. Inner guidance feels like a pull towards acting. If you are not drawn to do anything in particular, hold your intention for a successful outcome clearly in your mind. Feel the feeling of accomplishing your desired goal deeply in your heart. You may be called to wait until the time in right to do certain actions that align with your success.
Trust that life has your back. It may feel you have many things on your list that you need to, or want to, act on. You may ask yourself, "What needs to be put in place now, for my highest good?"
Sit quietly, meditation is a great way to do this, and listen to - or rather FEEL - how your gut instinct draws you to specific action.
Sometimes it may not seem like the action you are drawn to, is directly related to the success of the goal you are currently working on. That is okay! Trust your inner guidance system. What's happening is that the pieces are being put into place. The cooperative components are being arranged in your favor. Divine timing will lead us to rendezvous with people at the right place, at the right time, and things will fall into place to support your success. This is where we have to let go of the reigns a little bit and let the universe work its magic.
By taking the right steps to prepare ourselves for the outcome we desire, we can release the fear that says we might miss out. When we trust that timing works in our favor, we can release the anxiety that comes with thinking we haven't acted quickly enough.
Remember, our most important work is mental, emotional and energetic prep work!!
By laying the groundwork with focus we set ourselves up for accomplishing what we want.
Begin by clearly identifying, focusing on, and taking full advantage of your strengths. Continue to train and develop yourself in areas that interest you or that you feel excited, passionate or curious about. Everything else delegate, delegate, delegate - or ask for help with. The beauty of this world is that we all have different strengths - and our weakness may, in fact, be someone else's strength. Staying open and receptive to help and collaboration from multiple sources allows us to feel supported so that we avoid burn-out and stress.
Being open and receptive to help and collaboration creates opportunity for others to utilize their strengths as well. In this way, each of us can find our own avenue for expressing our strengths while allowing others to express their unique strengths in the process.
Watch your life come together as you create each day with purpose.
Stay Vibrant, my loves!